According to ONS statistics in 2012 42% of marriages end up in divorce.
Divorce is a difficult time and emotions can be on a roller coaster. There are several areas that you will need to think about, practical solutions, children, accommodation, your well -being.
Plan out what you want to get at the end of the divorce e.g. a share of the house, pensions. When children are involved think about what you want your children to have, living accommodations, schooling, mortgage protection insurance.
Think financially. You will need to become financially independent and so will need your own bank account. Set this up whilst still married and have communication sent to a post office mailbox which only you have access to.
You may want a new private email account and a new mobile phone number.
Gather all of the relevant documents relating to your finance and start tracking them so that you know what your assets are and also can monitor any unusual activity. More information on this from Jeffrey Landers. ‘Divorce, think financially not emotionally.’
Find the right team to help you from the following: Legal services, network support. Start to shortlist the services of those you are going to need so that you can choose the best for you.
Legal services – a family solicitor is the only person qualified to advise you about your legal situation. There are specially trained solicitors who have knowledge of all aspects of family law and divorce. They may not be the same solicitors that you used in the purchase of your house. Some solicitors also practice as mediators such as Moorcrofts.
A mediation service is also offered in Liverpool by solicitors Heaney Watson. A mediator will bring both parties together and facilitate communication on both sides. Each side will be asked to state the facts and the mediator will probe to obtain the emotional undercurrents associated with the facts. The mediator will work with both parties to try and identify the problem and help both parties to reach a solution. A stage of bargaining and reaching an agreement will then take place.
Using the services of a mediator can be much more cost effective, however this approach is not for everyone and using traditional divorce solicitors may be a faster route.
A Financial Advisor
A specialist divorce IFA can help you complete the paperwork such as the financial review form. This can speed up the divorce process and reduce your legal fees. They can assess the valuation of both parties’ assets including pensions and help you to come to an agreement and fair settlement. Seeking the services of a specialist divorce IFA can help you achieve a fair settlement with peace of mind. This may prevent any financial resentment by you or your spouse feeling that you have ‘lost out’.
Think about gaining the support of a counsellor and/or therapist. Where you are divorcing a partner with a personality disorder then a therapist can help explain some of the problems you are going through, particularly if you have been affected by unreasonable behaviour of your ex.
Support networks – you will need the help and support of family and friends at this difficult time. Keep in touch with them and determine which are most likely to respond positively to any of your requests for help. The NHS Choices website offers the following steps.
- Accept the reality of your situation
- Manage your emotions
- Develop strategies for personal growth
- Let friends and family help
- Deal with money and practical matters
- Communicate effectively with your ex
- Set goals for the future
To read more about these 7 steps see: http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/mentalhealth/Pages/healthydivorce.aspx
Think about selling your house so that you can move on to the next stage in your life.
Once you have reached a settlement you may want to move on as quickly as possible and using the services of a direct purchaser can save you time. Ask for a valuation from a direct purchaser and a guarantee that the purchase will take place within a limited time frame. To find out more about this have a chat with Phil Lynch on 0151 528 9414
Hope you find this useful